Valentine's Day

[strongerthanevil]

Tauriel had not thought that there would be so much work for her in Darrow considering how small it was but her business in tracking down criminals and other missing persons was steady enough that it kept her rather busy. It was just as she had hoped though, that having a job would keep her occupied and from growing too bored. While there was much to learn about this world and the many others that seemed to be connected to it there was very little to do here.

Tauriel was a warrior. For hundreds of years she had fought to keep her people and her lands safe. She had truly enjoyed what she did. While she did not revel in violence as the Orcs and Goblins she did truly enjoyed combat. The thrill of testing yourself against an opponent on the field of battle was a joy that could be matched in no other way.

But her work here did well enough to prevent her from growing too bored for the time being. There were days such as today where there was very little work to do outside of the office of her small business but it was necessary so that she could continue to do the work she truly enjoyed.

Still, distractions were not entirely unwelcome.

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[willnothide]

The trek through the Valentine's Day festivities had been a curious one but in spite of the strange things he'd seen the music he'd heard, Kili had managed to make it through the crowds of people without damaging the single sunflower he'd left the flower shop with for Tauriel. It isn't typical Valentine's fare, as he's come to understand it in the last week or so, but that is exactly why he'd chosen it.

Tauriel is unlike anyone he's ever met before. It's not just her beauty that had captured his heart but her strength, her courage, and eventually, her dedication to doing what she believed to be right. At least, what her heart believed to be right. Thorin would have said this is just a fascination, one that would pass, but Kili knows better than that. He's never felt for anyone like this before and now, he has a second chance. There is no battle in this place that threatens to claim his life, no impossibly high stakes. Here, Kili can see whether she could love him again.

There's no holding back his smile when he spots her. He stands rooted in place for a moment, shifting to hide the sunflower behind his back as if it won't be clear what he's holding the moment she sees him, but he quite suddenly feels terribly foolish. What good could a single flower do to show her how deeply his feelings run for her, after all? It is a silly tradition, one that he half regrets allowing himself to partake in, but there's nothing to be done about it now that he's here.

"Tauriel," he says as he approaches, shaking his hair from his eyes and hesitating just for a moment before finally revealing the sunflower in full. "I brought this for you. A token, for Valentine's Day."

[strongerthanevil]

"Oh."

Tauriel had not expected anything from Kili today, though perhaps she should have. It seemed to be a tradition rooted in another world, on with a sweet sentiment but did not hold any particular meaning to her. Should she not celebration any affection she had for another every day?

Yet now as Kili, somehow looking both bashful and terribly handsome, was holding out the flower to her she felt rather touched. Signifying his affection for her today made it clear how important she was to him. With a simple act he had made her feel incredibly special.

And she had nothing for him in return.

"Kili it is beautiful," she said, rising from her seat to take it from him. It seemed so bright and full of life, easily reminding her of Kili. "I don't have a present for you. Here. I don't have a present for you here. I did not expect to see you here so your present is not here."

Falsehoods but not outright lies. His present was not here because she had no gift to give him. Yet. She still had time, she was sure.

[willnothide]

He's surprised her, Kili can see that, and he cannot deny that there is a part of him that is pleased for it. The corners of his lips threaten to twitch into an amused smirk but he takes great pains to keep his expression neutral, if only to keep from making Tauriel feel embarrassed for lacking a gift she so very clearly doesn't have for him at all. He isn't bothered by it, of course he isn't, not when a day such as this isn't known or celebrated in Arda; but he does wonder if he'd crossed her mind when hearing of others speak of it.

Do you think she could have loved me?

"I do not expect anything in return," he tells her quickly, swallowing the lump that's formed in his throat and suddenly feeling very fortunate indeed that Tauriel doesn't remember his deathbed musings. The pain in his leg hadn't ceased even after she'd healed him, but it has diminished entirely since arriving here. The humiliation of knowing that she'd heard every muttering, on the other hand, whether she remembers it now or not, apparently has not faded at all.

He tries to cover the faint flush that rises in his cheeks with a playful arch of an eyebrow, tilting his head at her as she admires how the sunflower complements her delicate features as well as he'd thought it would. "Still, if it isn't here, I think you ought to at least give me a hint of what it might be."

[strongerthanevil]

"I- well- "

Of course Kili wished for a hint. He would not be her Kili if he did not manage to make even a simple exchange of gifts playful. Even if she had a gift, would she give him the satisfaction of a hint? Would it be more playful to tease him with something or to deny him even a hint of what she got him? She supposed it did not matter though, since she did not get him anything.

Her pride refused to let her admit that though. It would be too much like losing as well as admitting that she had neglected to give him something on the day that was most centered around those you felt affection for. Sadly she could not say which was the more driving force. Looking at his earnest face though she could not stand to disappoint him.

"I suppose if I do not give you a hint you will pester me with questions about what it is and if I do you will pester me with guesses so I might as well give you one," she said, giving an exaggerated role of her eyes. "But it is not something that can be found in our world."

There, that was broad enough for nearly anything, was it not? It gave her plenty of room to acquire almost any sort of gift.

[willnothide]

He goes quiet for a moment, watching her in their silence with an affectionate smile, and Kili wishes he could have the freedom to tell her that even this minor attempt at pretending (because she is very clearly pretending) to have found him a gift for a day they most certainly do not celebrate in Arda only makes him fall more deeply in love with her. This is undoubtedly strange, to be with her in a place that does not force them to run or fight or defend themselves in ways that both of them have been so familiar with, but Kili cannot deny that the idea of getting to know her here is greatly appealing, even if it means they will move at a considerably slower pace.

For Tauriel, after all, he would die again. It will not hurt him to wait for her to return his love, if she deems him worthy enough for it a second time.

"Something that cannot be found in our world," he repeats, more than willing to continue this teasing if only because her struggle to find her words is so incredibly different from the Tauriel he'd known before his arrival here. She is still an incomparable force, there is nobody who could hope to stand up to what he thinks of her, but there's a part of him that appreciates that even she might get just a bit tongue-tied around him. "Well, there's clearly no hope in even trying to figure out what that might be so I suppose I'll just have to let it remain a surprise. I only hope the flower is acceptable."

[strongerthanevil]

"Very well then, let us go get your gift then," she said, beginning to close up her office. There was little more for her to do here as it was and the prospect of spending time with Kili was far more appealing. In truth, spending time with Kili was far more appealing than most anything else she could think of. It made her wonder what it would be like to spend an entire day, or days, with him. To be able to share everything with him in that moment. It was a very pleasant thought.

"And the flower is beautiful," she said, almost as an afterthought. It was a very beautiful gift although she was not sure if she liked it so much because of the gift itself or because was a gift from Kili. "It will look good here on my desk and I will think of you every time I see it."

[willnothide]

Kili arches a brow when she stands, tilting his head up to look at her with the hint of a smile as he considers that perhaps he was wrong after all. If Tauriel does have a gift for him, it will warm him quite thoroughly to know that she would have thought of him in such a way that suits a celebration of love; and if she doesn't, well, he doesn't suppose he'll mind.

Kili had not brought her the sunflower in hopes of something in return, and he would have brought it to her whether it was Valentine's Day or not. What he wants is the chance to make her smile, to show the Tauriel of Darrow that he is worthy of being loved in the same way the Tauriel of Mirkwood had loved him. That Tauriel would go to this much trouble to have him believe she has a gift for him in the first place is enough for him.

"I was hoping you'd like it," he says, pleased beyond measure that she does. "I'll bring you a different one every so often, if you would allow it. If you would be happy to think of me so much."

[strongerthanevil]

"Kili..."

How did she tell him what she felt for him when even she did not fully understand her affection? Tauriel knew fully why she felt the way she did. Well, perhaps not fully but she did know why. Kili was unlike anyone she had ever met. The joy and life that he brought with him was unlike anything she had seen before. Her business was violence, it was to defend her people with the death of their enemies. Tauriel was good at it. She could even admit to liking it. And while Kili was certainly a fine warrior, it did not define who he was. Sooner would she say his smile was central to his nature than how he wielded a weapon.

Or perhaps that was merely because she so liked the way he smiled. He was handsome, of that there was no doubt. Rugged yet youthful in his appearance it was certainly enough to make many feel things for him. It was when Kili smiled though that she truly felt herself lose all sense of reason and her heart beat faster. How could she possibly put all of that into words.

"My Kili. I require no gifts to think of you often," she said, reaching out to caress his cheek. "Often I find myself thinking of you to the exclusion of all else."

[willnothide]

The gentle brush of her fingers against his cheek makes Kili slow to a stop, and he brings his own hand up to wrap around her wrist before she can move any further. There they stand for a moment, in silence, as he briefly wonders how her fingers can be so soft when she is so skilled with her bow, and he smiles softly up at her with a slight tilt of his head. "A great deal happened between us that you do not remember," Kili tells her, a hint of regret evident in his tone.

It does not grieve him to know that she does not remember his death, he doesn't want her to know. He doesn't want to have to tell her that he'd died trying to ensure that she would live, that she would carry on even though it would mean leaving her alone. She is an extraordinary being in every which way, one that Kili cannot even comprehend ever not loving, and he'd felt that way for her from the very beginning. From the moment she'd saved him from a venomous sting, he'd known.

Still, he wishes that he could help her see the rest. "Amrâlimê," he murmurs, a mere memory whispered back to life, and Kili knows she will not recognize the word but that changes nothing. He leans into her touch, letting his eyes flutter shut for just a moment.

[strongerthanevil]

It quite nearly broke her heart to see him so. His affection for her was clearly as great as her own, though he was far more free and comfortable with it. At times Tauriel felt as if she did not even know what to do with all she felt for him. There was no strategy she knew to employ to discern where their feelings would lead them and while the unknown excited her, it also truly frightened her. What would they become if they were to fully give themselves to their feelings?

"A great deal will happen between us here as well, I am sure," she said, trying not to sound hesitant. She hoped it sounded as the promise she meant it to be, a reassurance that she was not running from him. Just perhaps she was not running toward him as quickly as he hoped.

"I have observed a great many things here that I think you will be eager to happen between us," she added, giving him a smirk before turning and continuing on her way, unable to linger on the tender feelings too long.